Information provided by National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
"Stay away from strangers" is a popular warning to children to prevent abduction or exploitation. Unfortunately, however, many children are abducted or exploited by people who have some type of familiarity with them but who may or may not be known to the child's parents.
The term stranger suggests a concept that children do not understand and is one that ignores what we do know about the people who commit crimes against children. It misleads children into believing that they should only be aware of individuals who have an unusual or slovenly appearance. Instead, it is more appropriate to teach children to be on the lookout for certain kinds of situations or actions rather than certain kinds of individuals.
Children can be raised to be polite and friendly, but it is okay for them to be suspicious of any adult asking for assistance. Children help other children, but there is no need for them to be assisting adults. Children should not be asked to touch anyone in the areas of their body that would be covered by a bathing suit or allow anyone to touch them in those areas.
Often exploiters or abductors initiate a seemingly innocent contact with the victim. They may try to get to know the children and befriend them. They use subtle approaches that both parents and children should be aware of. Children should learn to stay away from individuals in cars or vans; and they should know that it is okay to say no—even to an adult. Since children are often reared to respect adult authority and never to be a tattletale, parents should explain why the child's personal safety is more important than being polite. Children should also be taught that there will always be someone who can help them.
Remember a clear, calm and reassuring message about situations and actions to look out for is easier for a child to understand than a particular profile or image of a "stranger."
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